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Cars > alwaysakid’s Garage > Blog > Ulterior Motives

 

alwaysakid’s Profile Photo

alwaysakid

M –60
Burnsville, Minnesota
United States

 

alwaysakid’s Blog Posts 1 – 5 of 75

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Mon Aug 26, 2013  |  5 comments
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Thu Mar 21, 2013  |  10 comments
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Mon Dec 24, 2012  |  7 comments
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Sun Dec 9, 2012  |  4 comments

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Ulterior Motives

By alwaysakid

I own four cars and I ride the bus to and from work. Can you imagine that? But it saves me $86 a month in the cost to park in downtown Minneapolis versus the bus fares, not to mention the cost of gas and wear-and-tear on the car.
Then there are the experiences I gain from mingling with the public, too.
So, I'm standing at the bus stop, waiting for the bus, when a guy comes up to me. He introduces himself and starts talking to me like I'm a buddy with all things in common. Finally, he came to the part I was expecting. He needed a couple bucks.
When I told him I couldn't give him any money because I spent it all the night before, he suddenly turned and walked away. Wait a minute, I thought we were friends. I didn't get a chance to tell him how I spent all my money.
In fact, come back, I made a mistake. I didn't spend all my money. ... My wife did.
Do you know what my wife spent all my money on? Portraits. Not pictures, but portraits. Pictures you can get for 25 cents at Wal-Mart, portraits cost $50.
And it's a portrait of us. She gets to see my ugly mug every morning when I get up and every evening when I get home from work, after riding the bus ... twice. Why does she need to see my picture if she's always seeing me? And why does she need to see a picture of herself? We have mirrors in the house, all over the place. Surely she doesn't forget what she looks like while going from one mirror to the next.
And the salesman wanted us to buy more portraits. How many portraits does one need to hang in their house? Besides, he got all my money, I didn't have any more.
But the salesman said we could buy more and put it on our charge card. No I can't, because I already ran that up with an airline ticket. My wife is using an airline ticket to go see her 96-year-old aunt, perhaps because she's tired of seeing me -- I know she's not planning on taking our portrait with her. How am I going to pay the charge bill if I buy more portraits and give my money to people who think I have a lot in common with them, except for hopefully not needing money as much as them?
But I didn't get to tell the guy all that because he walked away. We could've been friends and shared stories, all but for a lack of $2.
That's OK, I ride public transportation, there'll be another time.

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Cars > alwaysakid’s Garage > Blog > Ulterior Motives

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