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Statistics show teen pregnancy drops off significantly after 25 (So does being a teenager)

Alton attorney accidentally sues himself (How many times did it take him to pass the Bar?)

One armed main applauds the kindness of strangers (That would be interesting to see)

Correction: Due to incorrect information from the Clerk of Courts Office, Diane K. Merchant, 38, was incorrectly listed as being fined for prostitution in Wednesday’s paper. The charge should have been failure to stop at a railroad crossing. The Public Opinion apologizes for the error. (Easy mistake)

A deputy responded to a report of a vehicle stopping at mail boxes. It was a mailman. (No kidding?)

County to Pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds (Ummmm…. No comment)

Caskets found as workers demolish mausoleum (That would be the obvious place to look)

Utah Poison Control Center reminds everyone not to take poison (And remember folks, plastic bags are not toys)

Theft: A woman in the 1900 block of 129th Lane Northeast reported Oct. 15h that someone must have stolen her mail, because she did not receive birthday card from some of her friends. (LOL!)

Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons (Obvious place to look again)

Fish need water, Feds say (Thank you Capt. Obvious!)

Question of the day—Q: What constitutes a millionaire? A: A millionaire is someone who has $1 million, according to Jerry Beto, branch manager and senior vice president of investments at AG Edwards and Sons (No sh*t Sherlock?)

Police: Crack Found in Man’s Buttocks (Once again… the obvious place to look)